Mommy down time- does it every really exist??

Ok folks, I am brand new to this blogging thing but figure hey why not? I guess I will start by telling everybody a little about myself and why I have decided to try this out. I am a 36 yr old mom of 3 teenage girls. 2 of which are biologically mine and the other is my step-daughter. However, we have had custody of her for 8 yrs and the way I see it, that makes her mine too. The girls ages are 16, 15 and 12. My husband and I have been together for 13 long yrs. Now don't get me wrong, I love my husband. But sometimes you just have to ask yourself what the hell was I thinking? I mean I thought I was marrying a man and it turns out he is just a 36 yr old child a lot of the time. Who else can sit in front of the t.v. and play a stupid video game for 8 hrs straight with out peeing, eating, or doing anything else for that matter? And in that 8 hrs get mad enough to throw a controller at the t.v. cussing it severely and continue to play. I honestly think he thinks the characters in the game can hear him. And I love to watch him get mad because "the stupid s** o* b**** in the game just got himself killed." That is usually the point I have to smile and ask him to remind me again just who exactly is controlling the stupid s** o* b**** that just got killed. That usually gets me the mind your business remark. ;)

I decided to give this a try as a kind of release from being the "mommy." I have come to realize that being a mommy means you no longer get time for yourself. With the laundry, dinner, house cleaning, mom take me here, mom I need this, honey whats for dinner, there just isn't time. I am hoping to get some of that time back for myself. I mean it is not like the girls are babies anymore. I think it is time they start taking on some responsibility around the house and help out. I must honestly admit tho, I created these monsters myself. In my quest to be the "perfect parent" I have not allowed them to do anything for themselves. Hell, I still clean their rooms, do their laundry, cook their meals, and fix their plates. Yes, I still cut up their meat for them. I am afraid at this point I am doing them more harm than good. They are going to go into the real world expecting somebody to cut up their meat for them!! What have I done? Well, NO MORE!! I am taking a stand (much to their dismay I might add) to make them more responsible adults. But it is so hard to do. They are my babies. I just honestly want the best for them. I want to know tho, when do I get to take a bath and not feel guilty about it? When do I get to pee all by myself again? I am after all a BIG girl now. Can I just go to the store by myself? It is been so long since I have done that!! Will I ever be able to buy myself something just because I want it and not feel guilty about it? Or sit and think about how I could have spent that money on them every time I look at whatever it is I got myself? And am I being selfish with these thoughts? Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE BEING A MOM! There is no greater reward in this world than when your child accomplishes something they have worked hard for. Or when they come and ask for my advice. And more importantly than that, FOLLOW that advise. I would, however, like for one of them to come up just once and say "Mom, you were right." I think that might cause a catalyst that would create the end of the world tho. I mean come on, a teenager admit a parent was right? We as parents, are after all "the stupid ones." It amazes me all the times that I have had to call my own mom and apologize to her for things I did as a child. You never truly realize how much your words can hurt someone until those same words are used against you. And my mom. God love her soul, very politely laughs at me every time and says (nobody is going to believe this) "I told you you were going to have kids just like you!" I mean the nerve of her. Here I am admitting to a great wrong I did and she throws it in my face!! Guess it is not like I don't deserve it. I was a fairly evil child. (Hehehehe)

Well, I guess this enough for my first blog. I guess I will just sit back and see what happens with this thing next. I really would like to hear any stories or advise from anybody out there. Funny, sad, mad, whatever. I will be back tomorrow night!!